You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
