Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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