She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
