its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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