Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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