You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
