I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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