Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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