Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
