I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
