You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
