There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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