So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize