I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
