Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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