why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
