Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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