Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
