Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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