drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
