Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
