So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
