Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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