Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
