You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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