3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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