he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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