we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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