you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
