benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
