8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
