I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
