She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
