I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize