Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
