garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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