Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize