FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
