Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
