Don't EVER smell your tampon
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize