the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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