he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
