so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
