So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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