Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he thought i was a dude.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
