It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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