You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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