the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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