I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
