We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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