What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
