today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
