I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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