i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I would ride that face into the sunset
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