I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
