Umm I'm too high to move.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
