So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
