i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
