True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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