so let's talk penis.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
