he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
